I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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