It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
