hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
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