Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
