Who wears a wallet chain?!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
