Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
