I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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