I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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