used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
whose parrot is this?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
