We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
