literally had 100 drinks last night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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