swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize