I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
