I cannot find my penis.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
