But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
