I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize