I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
