Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
this hospital has no fireball
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
