she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
