she woke up with a sticky ear
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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