is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
