on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
