the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
