In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
