Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
