You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
