I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize