let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
