You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
