Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
