I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
