Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
