I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
