Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
