1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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