i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
