im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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