Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My bed smells like the plague
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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