Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm too high and old for this...
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