I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish I only lived at night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
