We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
