After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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