He uses pillows to masturbate.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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