By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
