Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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