he puts the penis in happiness.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
