please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
