I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize