you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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