Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
