Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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