Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
