It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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