i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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