I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
