I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
His nipple licking is glorious
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