Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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