i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Randomize
