There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
