go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
