my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
