Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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